| Thirst for humor.

I have a friend whom I work with. For some reason a coworker in their department has accidentally addressed them by the same wrong name(Emily) on multiple accounts. We’ve all  joked before that perhaps the wrong name used is that of a recent past life or something. I decided to bring my friend in some tea one day and spontaneously decided to have an employee at Tim Horton’s to write “Emily” on it xD

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Calling on your punctuality.

I have a manager who has always been overly punctual regarding breaks and ensuring he knows when you’re taking one. Well, one day I decided to phone his home and came off as urgent. He seems to pick up on the tension and then I told him: “Yeah I just wanted you to know that I’m taking my break!”

Anonymous.

| Not quite nailed it.

I was working in the deli. A woman I was serving wanted to show me how thick/thin she wanted her meat cut. I was totally confused as I stared at her fingers for moments to determine the thickness. I looked and I looked, but so far as I could see there was clearly no “gap” between her fingers. I’m thinking to myself: “Immensely thin!? wtf :/ ” I was legitimately dumbfounded for moments. FINALLY I noticed that she was using her nails to determine the size. Seriously why not just use your fingers like anyone else would! :/

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Eye see clearly @_@

A coworker on the other side of my display window somehow sprays myself in the eye with window cleaner.

Her: “Oh my gosh I’m sorry! Does that hurt? how’s your eye feel!?”

Me: “Oh, fine. Things are sparkling. That’s all!” ^_~

Anonymous.

| Take a number. Give some humor.

An elder couple in line for my service desk. I call number 98. “I’m 98(number)” a gentlemen says. His wife quickly spoke up: “No you’re not ..you’re much younger than that!” I let her know that I appreciated her humor 🙂

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Still not specific :/

All the time working in the deli. *customer selects their meat*. Me: “Okay would you like that sliced or shaved?” *customer* “Um it’s for sandwiches”. My thoughts: “Really!? I figured this was for a pack of wolves or the family dog. Now that we’ve excluded those two common things I always otherwise assume by default I can still proceed to ask if that’ sliced or shaved!”

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Why not lucky seven?

I was working in the deli and weighed up a woman’s meat for her. Ouch! ..I noticed those numbers that come up the very odd time. I don’t always full-on commute with customers, but sometimes will if I see the right body language. So I tell her right away: “I apologize for the weird numbers there!” She evaluates the packaged meats, and says: “Oh! ..I’ve been called the devil many times!” I began laughing immediately, heartily. She continues on: “You know I think I’ve got those numbers before. ..actually you know it might have even been you!” I began laughing with less containment of control. “Well I certainly hope not!” – I cried! I only wish this could be as funny to read as it was experienced in person.

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Close call.

Well I was closing, and then I found actual closing time creep up on me. I began hustling getting things done. I had a shadow of doubt about our closing time and asked another employee while I was back at the compactor room. They suggested two hours past the closing time I thought, but when wondered too. I suppose I placed doubt in both of our minds. How “not with it” is that!? I came back to my department, slipped by a customer of my department and looked at the schedule quickly. I’m looking so quickly because I have a customer, and now I’m under suspicion we still in fact have another two hours! It seems we really must be closing at ten. So I came to the customer and tended them. They noticed myself assembling the machine(deli slicer). A guard, plugging it back in and everything. It’s also totally clean. Spotless! They then began to inquire it and I don’t blame them. Well I fessed up to my embarrassing moment. I explained that I thought the store closed a full two hours sooner than I did. My gosh was this customer(mid-aged woman) ever cool about it, and kind in nature. Both patient and understanding. Even talkative in a chill way I admired. It’s people like this that make life so much better. I can only imagine what some customers might have done. If I could go back in time I’d make sure to have given them the most sincere thank you! Heck I’d even be happy to pay for her meat!

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Comical comment.

A woman between her twenties and thirties came to our deli. She wanted kielbasa and narrowed down one, specifying she wants about six inches. I placed my knife on a spot confirming the length. She requested it to be shorter, and then shorter again and shorter yet. Settling on my belief of potentially three inches. She takes off and an older man next in line steps up and much to my surprise stated: “Well, someone’s been lying to her!”

Anonymous.

| Deserted on duty.

One time during a closing shift, in a department apparently not so well considered – I actually got locked inside the building. After trying a couple of doors I found my way to the receiving area and pulled on the chain which gives access to parked transport trailers. I pulled it just enough to slide through and be on my way.

Anonymous.

| Computer trouble.

Our warehouse manager kept submitting tickets about erratic PC behavior. I finally stopped remoting in and went into the office and saw he had 3 huge magnetic signs on the case. removed the huge magnetic signs. Success!

Frank.

| Foul Fidget.

I came up to a picnic table outside my work to join a staff member. We were both talking away and I noticed something sitting on a second table. By chance I suppose in the mood to fidget I picked it up and began playing with it with my fingers. I looked after a moment to see just what the heck it was. It was a persons freaking toe nail!
So gross! Why on the table? WHY!? :-#

Anonymous.

| Window of opportunity.

I work in a super market. A woman approached me asking if I knew if we had any stickers for windows designed to deter birds from incidents. I was quite positive we didn’t have this. I had actually never heard of it. I addressed her to a woman who essentially manages(or looks after) the entire store and she seemed puzzled too. She began brain-storming with her as where to go. I can never seem to place a cap on my humor. I but in: “Or you could always go windowless!” I declared. Sudden quietness for a moments time, and clueless faces. “..I’m just kidding!” I continued. I received a hearty laugh. 🙂

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Deli Roast.

An older lady came to the deli counter and asked for a half pound of sliced turkey. I politely inquired what kind she wanted. She seemed disgusted by my questioning her so I explained we had oven roasted, smoked, lemon rosemary, southwest and then she interrupted me by saying impatiently, “get someone else to wait on me! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”. How would you feel at that? Well, I started to laugh and said to one of the other workers loudly, “Would you be kind enough to help this lady since I don’t know what I’m talking about?”. The worker had heard her rude way of talking to me and had a smirk on his face and several customers waiting behind her started laughing at her and rolled their eyes at my giving me a knowing smile.

Anonymous.

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