“A joy that’s shared is a joy made double.” Proverb

The content in this archive is collected from freely submitted stories by individuals worldwide.
Due to the nature of submissions, all are unique, often unexpected and always unrated.

This website does not engage in vigorous spell checking nor does it have an intangible marriage with grammar.
Besides the point of unsubstantial funding, this website is about a sense of ease. That means little worry – for all of us.

If the odd “butt” instead of “but” is too much for you to handle then we’re sorry you’re anal. :3

This website intends to provide enjoyment with the most pleasant or otherwise unique reading material around.
We hope, if that isn’t enough – that you may enjoy the opportunity in sharing your own story.

A sincere thank you to everyone who visits. Wishing you a stress-free day and longevity. – KCR Staff. <3


| Initially misunderstood.

I no longer use my initials on logs at work because my initials: “NO” confused people.

Natalie Elizabeth, Huntsville Ontario.

| Gut instinct.

So this happened while I was working in the Deli.
Well I was looking at this woman as she approaches and then noticed she was “showing”(no not that kind) at the belly. So suddenly I’m now looking at her pregnant belly for a moments time as she tells me what meat she wants. She lists a couple off and then tells me: “Do you want the whole story?”
Suddenly I was stunned for a moment thinking: this woman is about to explain how she got knocked up!
..Well, wouldn’t you know this was her way of asking if I wanted to know all of the meats she was getting before I got to the slicer. Ha!

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Flip-ped phone.

Couple hairs grayer today. Customer insisted he was 100% sure he dropped off two phones for repair two weeks ago, so I spent three hours tearing apart the shop looking for them.
I call back asking him to please take a look where they might be, 5mins later calls back apologizing as he did have them after all.

Anonymous, Canada.

| Need a lift?

Offering rides to people is nothing new to me. This is something which I’ve done many times with many people and always without a problem. I mean, why would problems arise, right? Well that unfortunately changed one night.

I already had a passenger in the front with me. This left just the back seat open for another coworker who we waited on together. This last passenger had a couple of things to bring into the car and I somehow misjudged their time getting in or rather their lack of being inside. Yes, momentarily I drove off without them but to make matters worse I felt a bump which had me puzzled. “There’s no way I went up on the curb” I thought to myself immediately while simultaneously braking to an immediate stop. Well low and behold, I actually ran over my coworkers foot!


| Patches.

In the mens washroom at our workplace a huge hole suddenly appeared in the drywall. Unfortunate it happened and it’s never been filled in. Someone got the imaginative idea to fill the hole with a stuffed animal. Now this was already unusual enough, but it has since been subject to ever changing fashion. It has a new hat, bow, glasses ect all the time.


| Desert-ed.

I work in a garden center selling … well you know what they sell in garden centers. Anyway, one hot summer day an irate customer brought in two dead hanging baskets. I mean dead. Dried up into dust dead. And she demanded her money back. I didn’t really know what to say, so I asked, “Did you water them?” She got all snotty and said, “No, they were hanging outside!” *shaking my head*

I guess it never occurred to her that if the baskets were hanging, they’d have no way of getting moisture. Some people, huh? But because the owner is all about customer service, we gave this fool her money back. *rolling my eyes*


| Cut it out.

I was working the register at our department. The hot meals section of our super store. Among random items a woman was purchasing was a reduced children’s shirt. She asked if we had scissors and I quickly realized she wanted to cut the arms off. That might seem like a surprise and it was, but it had reason. It was for her dog! She simply wanted an immediate sweater for her pooch! 🐩❤ We found scissors and she did her quick tailor. This customer left leaving their arms behind and my restless knack for humor instantly dreamt up a playful idea. I decided to have a coworker to return these massacred arms to the clothing department acting though it’s a regular return. “Tell them you thought they were socks!” I suggested. Well two baffled clothing clerks were stunned by this irregular return. Mission success! Further more, Wouldn’t you know this was passed onto our lost prevention management rather quickly. I had actually meant to give them a heads up to my prank, but got caught up with customers. I spoke with someone from loss prevention later on to apologize if I created a stir. I was dumbfounded by an immediate sensed presence of aggravated temperament my stunt apparently caused. It was explained to me how much time this cost, among other disciplinary talk. Shocked. I actually walked away. I got a ways away and they called my name. I stopped, turned and made eye contact. “GOTCHA!”, They shouted. It seems this prank went both ways! 😂

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Tupper-where?

Have you ever got into a cleaning spree and realized there are unused things which you can certainly throw out, and do exactly that?  Well that is what I did at work.

In cleaning mode at work one day I decided to finally throw out some garbage lids I had never seen used before. They were taking up space, didn’t look the best and certainly didn’t seem to serve a purpose. Well weeks went by and suddenly by chance we had a health inspector coming in. A store manager left a list of things to get done to ensure a better score. Wouldn’t you know one of those few things had to be “Garbage lids on garbage bins”. I was stunned! The quick solution was to get rid of(relocate) a few garbage bins themselves. Though this has been the same solution, since. I also later learned that these lids were worth about two-hundred dollars, each. Yeah. My bad. :/


| 16 months a-ccounting.

I once heard word of an accountant I knew approaching retirement. I decided to bring it up next time I saw them. Upon my speaking to them I was somewhat amused to hear their answer. They told me they had 16 months, 15 days, 3 hours left. But continued to say, “Now if you take into account sick days..” ect, it could also be looked at as x months, x days, x hours. x.. they covered exact actual numbers which have already left my mind. You can see how perfect this person was for their job! Both impressive, and amusing alike 🙂 😛


| A memory of my adventures at sea.

Years ago, when I was a deckhand, one of our trips became a rescue mission. We were steaming to Shearwater and received a radio call from the Coast Guard. They requested we turn to an open frequency and they will explain the call. Turns out some folks went camping on a remote Island for a a few days with their 2 beautiful dogs. Circumstances arose that the people had to leave without the dogs because their speed boat sunk , and they were rescued by some boaters heading to Bella Bella that had no room for the dogs. They were meaning to go back the next day, but nasty weather halted them for 3 days. We were several miles from where the dogs were, so we turned about and headed back to go rescue the abandoned dogs. These 2 guys were so happy to see us pull up on shore with our skiff that they jumped right in without hesitation. They weren’t to thrilled about the long ride ahead, but rest assured the food we gave them made up for it. They eventually got back to their rightful humans and all ended well. Another fine memory of my adventures at Sea.

Daron Wall Ganges, BC, Canada.

| Humid humor.

I managed to momentarily stun a manager today.

I had been aware that her new vehicle had climate control problems and that she had got it serviced a couple of days ago. Caring to catch up on the situation of her problem I promptly stopped her and asked: “So [name], are you in heat today?”

A most epic moment of clueless, stunned and a what the f*** stare passed – then transformed into a blissful laughing fit. 😀

I love my constant witty humor.

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario

| Discreet Dishes.

My manager has reminded us a few times over that if we ever let his wife know he does dishes here we’ll be seeking a new job. XD


| Collision course.

I was home after a year across seas from my teaching career. I had spent some time at a cottage and somehow on the way home seemed to mistakenly follow a new habit. The frightening scene of an impending collision course with another vehicle had my utmost attention and it was between moments of panic and action that I realized it was myself who was driving on the wrong side of the road!


| Heads or tails?

A store manager came around my department one day(seafood) just doing their rounds. I noticed their face quickly turn showing distaste in what I was wrapping. I was under the impression they didn’t like seafood, when they voiced: “Ugh, fish heads!”. I explained it was actually a lobster tail, though that it was simply “curled up” which happens at times. “I was wondering why some people might buy fish heads!” my manager snickered. XD

Kyle O’Connor, Huntsville Ontario.

| Copy Curve-ball.

I was at work once and with some spare time decided to write down a few personal notes for myself on a clipboard. I had grabbed blank paper, but surprisingly everything I had wrote showed up on filled out task papers below it. I made the decision to grab another task sheet and fill out days of information again to avoid leaving my personal notes for everyones eyes.


| Shook up.

I was once at a staff function and upon approaching a coworker of mine they were with their partner. We talked for some time and just before departing the gentlemen placed his hand out to shake my hand. I somehow fumbled a simple handshake for the first time ever and grabbed the persons wrist! It was definitely an awkward goodbye. ¯_()_/¯


| A third time a-counting.

Okay, I’ve had enough of the Christmas music at work. I was trying to count my till tonight while ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ was playing. ♪♫ 10 lords a’ leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a’ milking … ♪♫ Do you know how many times I had to start over?!


“Sorry to say it!”

..This wouldn’t be the first website to ask for donations.

Initially this website cost $4,994.60.

Expensive? Yes, but I was following my dream and this website continues to be my passion. For the first year I had zero ads, and still technically don’t. I finally have amazon as an affiliate and I won’t lie – I’ve made .42cents! Yes making money is never easy, and this website is just starting out. I would truly appreciate if you shared this website with your friends or even simply sent myself a message of motivation. If you really enjoy this website or feel good about it’s potential/the direction it’s going, feel free to make a donation to help things accelerate faster(or just feel good inside) 😛

Kyle O’Connor – KCR creator.

Support Keep Calm & Retire